Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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