Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
