she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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