Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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