And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
