ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
where are my eyebrows?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
