My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
