At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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