Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
