Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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(619): View more from California

Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night

(323): View more from California

How mad was your dog?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator

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(480): View more from Arizona

With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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(517): View more from Michigan

Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah

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(302): View more from Delaware

He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!

(1-302): View more from Delaware

Do it. It’s a noble position.

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