I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
