Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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