U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
