You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My feet surprised me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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