i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
