If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
