Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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