That's intense
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
