too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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