i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so let's talk penis.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
