Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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