I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish i was in the wii world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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