Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
