we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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