Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
