what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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