all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
