And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize