i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
