We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
