I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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