My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
