I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
