Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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