i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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