I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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