is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
