Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
