I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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