called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize