Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
