this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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