he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
