don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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