just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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