Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
