Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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