You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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