you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
