Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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