those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
