Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
