I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
