im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
