definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
