we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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