am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
