she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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