It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
