It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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